How to jerk off a guy

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Flip the open end over the top and secure with a rubber band or tape so it stays in place. You can hold the cylinder in your hand or wedge it between your mattresses or your couch.

Cock-condiments are more pleasurable when warmed slightly in the microwave; but make sure you test the temperature first before putting your prick into anything hot.

Take a large cucumber, squash, watermelon, honeydew, or cantaloupe, cut a hole to fit your erection in one side, and a smaller opening the size of a pencil in the other.

Hollow out the inside to fit your circumference and then screw the squishy goodness. You can place your finger over the small hole and remove it to adjust the draw to simulate the effect of getting a blowjob.

Select a jar and fill it with stewed tomatoes, Spaghetti O's, mac-n-cheese, cottage cheese, oatmeal or peanut butter. Cover the top with plastic wrap and a rubber band, cut a hole and you're ready to go.

You can also turn your salami into a sandwich by slapping it between two pieces of bread, bologna, chicken breast, chicken skin, lamb kebob, spam, liver, lox, or steak.

Grab your meal two-fisted, squeeze and squirt. Plastic Baggie. Pick your size from snack to storage , fill it with Crisco, Vaseline, Jell-O or banana pulp, and then stuff it with your meat.

Hold the package in your preferred hand or cram everything under a cushion, then pleasure yourself to completion.

Rubber Gloves. When you want to feel like someone else is giving you the greatest reach-around of your life, don a latex sheath on your own hand before whacking off.

Use your favorite lubricant unless you're into medical fetishes, or the sensation of being examined at the doctor's office. If you do it anyway, beware that peeing and ejaculating may be painful for several days, but the stinging will subside.

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Me Jerking Off Again. Porn Jerk-Off Cocktail. Luckily, numerous effective methods have been discovered to give the most intensity and pleasure to your prudent pumping.

While the classic handy is a surefire way to put some sauce on the taco, the wide and wonderful world of wiener juicing is far too grand to stop there.

The top 3 most common methods used to burp the worm are as follows with a few tips and tricks included to make it worth your while :. It requires no special skills and, quite frankly, is for rookies only.

However, there is a certain way to do it if you want it to feel as awesome as possible and I know you do :. Experiment with varying hand positions, grip pressures, and speeds to keep things interesting.

Using both of your hands can be a magical mystery ride as well. Here are my humble suggestions for this semi-marvelous method:. NOTE : If your penis is too small for the two-handed tango, I suggest looking into a high-end penis enlargement device.

Of course, masturbation took on a whole new meaning once sex toys were invented. The best toys on the market make this turkey jerking shit a super realistic experience.

Some even feature genuine-feeling textures made from skin-like materials, live virtual reality web content, Bluetooth compatibility, and automatic mechanisms that make it all hands-free.

Oh, what a time to be alive! A good sex toy can give you extreme pleasure without forcing you to get your hands dirty.

Earth-shattering orgasms now require little more than an internet connection, a few batteries, an electrical outlet, or sometimes, even less.

My favorite toy brands are Fleshlight and Kiiroo , although several other brands in the industry have decent products as well.

However, nothing and I mean nothing besides real sex compares to what these perverted conglomerates have to offer. The Awesome Automatic Masturbation Machine For Men That same brand has hundreds of other toys and textures as well, virtually catering to the wants and needs of penises everywhere.

The Kiiroo brand has a ton of high-tech male masturbation toys as well, and all of their toys are made using some of the best materials and ergonomics on the planet.

For instance, Fleshlight has a device called the Stamina Training Unit STU which comes with an instruction booklet that carefully explains how to use the toy to increase your sexual fortitude.

These days, masturbation has taken on a whole new agenda. Hot damn! Aside from simply painting the pickle with your bare hands or with a well-made masturbation toy, there are a few other products on the market that can further your pleasure even more.

Like I said, beating your meat has never been more fun and favored than it is right now. The days of it being a taboo subject have been quickly replaced by these new days, wherein waxing your wanker is a hot and unbothered topic — an acceptable activity which beckons the invention of even more perversity in the form of some pretty awesome accessories.

While your palms are still privileged enough to suffice a decent orgasm, masterful masturbation techniques often require a little help. Every now and then, things become stale and even the easiest to please men have to kick things up a notch to keep shit interesting.

In my experience, the following accessories make terrific add-ons to any self-pleasuring session, no matter how experiences or inexperienced you happen to be.

In order to use any of the following add-ons, you must first spring for a good sex toy that is compatible with the accessories mentioned below:.

The most effective masturbators in the industry are so good that men want to take them everywhere, including the bath, pool, hot tub, or shower.

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